If I Should Plant a Tiny Seed of Love (1909)

The title was borrowed from a movie. Click it.

Robert is currently under the care of Will and Jessica, as I have taken the weekend to watch over the home and seedlings of a different household. I'm sure he's having a great time right now...just sitting. Lately Robert's been kinda down, so Will put him in front of the window yesterday in his room, and that seemed to cheer him up...Robert was happy too! (ba-dum...chck)

I think he's lonely. If any readers would like to send photos of their lovely plants, please email them to nathaniel.carroll@gmail.com with the subject "Roberta Plant." He's only into ladies, I think. There's also been talk about Robert starting a metal band, but I doubt they'll make it very far.

xoxo,
nathaniel

Plant of Attack

Tonight we watched "The Hunt for Red October," and Robert seemed to enjoy most of the movie, except for the parts where Will had sat in front of him, thus obstructing his view of Sean Connery (on whom Jessica has a huge crush. How huge?
We're talking "I'd-spend-fifteen-dollars-on-League-of-Extraordinary-Gentlemen-even-though-it-
probably-sucks-but-I-can-stomach-the-shallow-plot-and-washed-up-actors-if-Sean-
Connery-is-in-the -movie" huge). sheesh.

Jessica is also very jealous right now, because her plant isn't getting much attention right now. She didn't even give hers a name, so I don't understand how a plant that hasn't been subjected to an anthropomorphism like mine could possibly be jealous. I'd like to see her plant write "Stairway to Heaven" and sell millions of records! I'll tell you one thing right now: if that plant ever comes out of hiding and tries to steal Robert's spotlight, it will be Trampled Under Foot for sure.

xoxo,
nathaniel

A Plant in the Audience

Robert Plant, William, and I watched Mr. Bean last night. Robert supposed it would be a movie about legumes, but was sadly mistaken. He doesn't really have a sense of humor (at least he doesn't laugh at any of my jokes). I gave him a few roasted and salted sunflower seeds as consolation - we didn't have any real beans.

WOW!!! This just in! I was surfing the Internet Movie Database, specifically list of Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) films, and LOOK what movie he made! Spider-Plant Man! Holy cow, this is spectacular. It all makes perfect sense: Robert Plant must have seen "Spider-Plant Man" and hoped "Bean" would be just as thrilling! Looks like someone *coughRobertcough* has a crush on Rowan Atkinson.

crazy.
xoxo,
nathaniel

Melts in your mouth, not in the topsoil.

I fed Robert a peanut butter M&M a couple days ago. I think it might have stunted his growth. I also added some dirt from outside into the mix, so he may have caught a disease from our yard. Only time will tell. He's probably thirsty by now; I haven't been home long enough in the past day or two to give him the attention he deserves. In other words, I have been home long enough to take care of him, but I forgot. I don't think he's speaking to me right now.

xoxo,
nc

Trading Spaces

Robert recently disclosed his disdain for the living room coffee table (probably because we don't have a couch...we should really get one, I feel). He tried to explain it to me - something about sunlight or water or something. I don't know; I feel like Robert expects too much from me already. He's pretty lazy. So I moved him into my bedroom the other day on top of my shelves. Unfortunately, our house casts shadows in all directions at all times of day, so that Robert rarely gets sunlight. Maybe I'll move him outside into the landlord's cat fence.

xoxo,
nathaniel

A Farewell to Arms...

I discovered a rather ghastly wound on Robert's left tentacle (I think it's on his left...he's pretty uni-directional sometimes). It's a really soggy dark spot on the tip, where his hand or foot should be. I think we'll have to amputate before he gets a staff infection. Gross.

Robert also had his first photo shoot today, and it went swimmingly. Once I get the film developed, I'll post some pictures of the real Robert Plant.

xoxo,
nathaniel

Robert Plant is in Led Zeppelin

that's all.

Extreme Makeover: Blogger Edition

That's right, folks. Soon this blogger will be made-over into a glamorous archive documenting the follies and foibles of my newest friend, Robert Plant. He's actually a 10" tall/long spider plant that I bought partly for charitable reasons, but mostly as a gesture of repentance to a young lady I recently offended. Problem: resolved! Anyway, I hope to get pictures of Robert up on the blog very soon, and I will try to change the background to look plant-friendly. Right now, it looks like extremely expensive staionery, which as we all know, is made of plants just like Robert.

stay tuned! Here's a preview of what you might see on the blog:
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xoxo,
nathaniel