Cutting a Rug...OR...How I Discovered that Robert Plant is a Carpet-Eater.

That's right. The area rug in the living room is gone! I stayed at the school all night with the intention of working on homework (much to my chagrin), and, upon returning home for a shower and change of clothes this morning, found something amiss: The rug in the living room had vanished. Not even a small sample of carpet remained. I searched high and low for the carpet-at-large, and my investigation was fruitless. Realizing that Robert Plant was the only other member of the household present at the time, I inferred that it was indeed Robert who ate the living room carpet!

Now, the only way he could possibly move from the kitchen table to the floor in the next room is with the help of an aptly-abled accomplice (how about that illiteration, eh?). Naturally, I retrieved my list of usual suspects and reduced said list from 37 shady characters to two specific housemates, who, for the sake of preserving their identity, shall be called W and J. I will have to dust for prints and conduct an intense interrogation, I'm sure. Whomever aided Robert in his glutonous heist must not only have known Robert's dastardly plot, but also have harbored a severe hatred for the currently digesting rug.

I will keep you informed as to the whereabouts of the rug and the overall progress of the case. For now, I need to go pick up a hot lamp, 1 super-sonic ear kit, a long overcoat (with matching flap-hat), bubble pipe, basset hound, and 1 former rapper-turned-actor to back me up. We're getting the SVU on this one, baby!

Tune in next week for the gripping conclusion to... Cutting a Rug...OR...How I Discovered that Robert Plant is a Carpet-Eater

xoxo,
nathaniel